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These tired truisms, like you need to lose the extra hundred pounds and brush your teeth and wash at least once a week, take a lot of work.

And frankly, I am not interested in working that hard to be hot. I just want to BE hot! I also found that most guides offering suggestions don't really address the core problem that most men have So after doing all this research, I decided to write an article that really addresses the challenges men face in their quest to be hot.

And you know that I am not going to be so lame as to suggest some excruciatingly obvious things like diet, exercise and plastic surgery.

Admittedly, it's difficult to keep your spirits up when the most important part of you feels like it's scraping the floor.

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I also know that's true from personal experience. My wife can smell me farting from way across the other side of the house. If you are trying to become more attractive to women, I think it's critical that you smell really good.

I don't know what smells good to you. To me, it's fried chicken. But I don't think that works for everybody.

A smell that will surely work for most folks is the smell of nice crisp green ones Just because you're not made of money does not mean you can't smell like money.

This cologne is sure to attract lots of attention your way. Just make sure to carry a weapon to protect yourself when someone tries to steal you.

Unfortunately, lugging around something that shows you're really good at sitting around eating and drinking may not be an advantage in enhancing your hotness.

I am told that what really makes most women hot is the sight of a man's flat stomach firm with lots of muscles. Since most guys I know are too lazy to go build a six pack and would rather just drink one, I have a good solution for all of us.

Tah dah, it's The male girdle will surely give you a new perspective on "feeling squeezed". With the Male Girdle, no one but those few who are "lucky" enough to fool with your girdle need to know you are not one of those uniquely prized specimens, a flat bellied male.

Finally, women will know the true taste of bitter disappointment that men too often feel when they realize she's wearing a padded bra and that her cup does not runneth over.

I remember a time not too long ago when hair on a man was considered sexy. Now, you practically have to be hairless except in a few key places just to get a date.

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Tah dah, it's The male girdle will surely give you a new perspective on "feeling squeezed". With the Male Girdle, no one but those few who are "lucky" enough to fool with your girdle need to know you are not one of those uniquely prized specimens, a flat bellied male.

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I remember a time not too long ago when hair on a man was considered sexy. Now, you practically have to be hairless except in a few key places just to get a date.

Although I find the latest trend towards hairlessness to be odd, you can't fight fashion. For those men who want to be considered fashion forward, it's almost mandatory these days to have a hairless back.

Unless you have arms of an orangutan, it's probably going to be hard for you to get rid of that fur coat. Now, you can use the Razoback with its special back shaving system to help you reach those hard to reach places.

With this nifty solution, your back can be as smooth as a baby's ss. Understanding of course, that there's nothing sexy about a baby's ass.

Well, I think that's true. Now, I am offering you the opportunity to grow a bigger "brain"? If you are one of those poor souls who were not given the gift of girth and heft that I was naturally endowed with, I have a solution for you.

Instead of stuffing your pants to make yourself feel and look hotter, you may try stretching things out a bit.

Hey guys, here's your chance to make a mountain out of a molehill. I was thinking about trying out some of them, but then I got tired.

Anyway, I figure I am pretty darn hot to begin with so it's not like I really need any of this stuff. But for you pathetic, miserable souls out there that need some good practical advice, I thought I'd share the results of my research with you.

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